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January 31 2018



me, pointing at my favourite character in any given show or movie: they’re definitely autistic



What straight people think I want: to be accepted, to be seen as “normal” by them

What I actually want: a wife, ten cats, house by the ocean, money so i can get the love of my life whatever she wants




If you’re not dead, you can live another second.

Now another.

Now another.

Hey, you’re getting the hang of this!

Now another.

Good, good, now, if you can keep that up, you’ll find a way to stable footing, sooner or later.

January 30 2018



momma didnt raise a quitter but she did raise a fool and it turns out those two things are a terrible combination




the whackest thing is that people exist in the year of our lord 2018 who are into homestuck and were probably barely five years old when it came out. 

in fact, let’s do a social experiment. homestuck readers: leave the year of your birth and what year you started reading in the tags. i’ll start.

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this is the most sophisticated phishing e-mail I have ever received and if they had sized the logo correctly and actually proofread the fucking thing I probably would’ve clicked that button

actually please reblog this because someone else got it too. do not click on the links in this e-mail if you get one like it, just forward it to and delete it



what she says: I’m fine

what she means: how in the FUCK did ed sheeran’s dime-a-dozen love song, “shape of you,” about how much he likes a woman’s body, and his album full of dime-a-dozen love songs about how much he loves a woman (because there aren’t enough of those already) beat Kesha’s amazing, personal song “Praying” about her actual, real-life experience with something horrible and how she’s overcome and grown strong - a song which could not be any more topical at a time when survivors of sexual crimes are taking a bigger stand against their culprits than ever before - and her amazing, personal album about being a badass, empowered woman who’s fighting for herself and other women - an album which also could not be more topical as massive women’s marches and protests take place across the country??? How? HOW? WHO THE FUCK PICKED ED FUCKING SWAMPMAN SHEERAN TO WIN BEST POP SOLO AND BEST POP ALBUM OVER KESHA AND WHERE DO THEY LIVE?!?!???!??

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not 2 be a hopeless romantic but i can’t wait until i get to dance around in a sweater and underwear with the love of my life in our apartment

January 29 2018




a necromancer is just a really late healer

“you’re too late, doc, he’s…he’s already dead…”

*cracks knuckles* i didnt get my medical license revoked for nothing

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hang in there buddy.


January 28 2018




does anyone else with intrusive thoughts do that weird dismissive head shake when they get them to kinda like.. reverse/reject the thought or is that just me

Gotta shake your brain like an etch-n-sketch and start over



i dont trust any of those “if u play x song at y time z lyric will play at midnight” because we all know gays cant do math



when your joke ruins a conversation but you know it was amazing

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me: *wants to talk to my mutuals but doesn’t know what to say*

November 02 2017




*Strums guitar*

I have nothing against killing animals for food and I often eat meat myself but we need to stop creating an industry in which animals are abused and most of their parts go to waste.

*Guitar picks up*

If we keep taking advantage of our limited resources in order to provide a large amount of meat most of which goes to waste then we’ll end up with nothing but a bunch of diseased animals and polluted water.

*Sick drumbeat kicks in*

However this does not mean it’s okay to shame people for eating meat. It’s no one person’s fault that the industry has gotten out of hand. We’ve created a society over many years in which it’s quite hard to transition from large industries back to local and environmentally-friendly businesses.

*Killer bassline starts*

And we can’t ignore the fact that the same thing has happened to the fruit/vegetable industry, it’s just a lot easier to point fingers when cute little animals are hurt.

*Killer guitar solo*

It’s time we start practicing sustainable agriculture and take away power from out of control industries such as General Mills who own most of what we consume on a regular basis and don’t give a shit as long as they get money.

*comes in with the bass* also some people can’t go vegan and have serious complications with vegetarianism because they have allergies to nuts or other plant based protein sources so keep that in mind pls



fencing coach: how are your legs feeling after that workout?

me: sore

fencing coach: [[suddenly in a Russian accent]] Good. Make your thighs big as mother Russia. You know what they say about women with big thighs, yes?

me: [[also in a Russian accent]] Can crush head between legs like watermelon.

fencing coach:

fencing coach: [[still in a Russian accent]] You and I…we have very different fantasies



having separate continents is so stupid im over it reblog if you miss pangaea

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